Pagan in the Raw

Little Boxes...

2011-01-30T18:15:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about how hard it is for me to stay focused on the dietary changes I am making to make my life healthier on weekends. I got my answer with an exercise in Happiness that was suggested as part of the 28 Day Transition to Raw program I am following through The Garden Diet.

During the week, I package all my meals up for the day in neat little containers and then cart it off to work with me. I think of Janice Joplin's song, "Little Boxes" with some amusement while I pack things up. Really, I do. Everything is laid out in nice neat packages, with my snacks in little baggies and my supplements all portioned out for the day as well.

Then comes Saturday...

Saturday and Sunday have habitually been the days I cook way too much food for my family and we all end up sitting in front of the tube groaning because our bellies are too full. Sure, it all tastes great, but jeez, it's painful afterwards.

This weekend was burrito night which is one of my guys favorites. I managed to avoid the tortilla, cheese and meat, but I could not resist the black beans and sour cream. Until Sunday! Then the ground beef just smelled sooooo good, I ended up putting it on my lunch time salad.

So I am going to start packing up my little boxes on weekends too. It's a small thing, a little time consuming, but all worth it in the end!

Combating Compulsive Behavior

2011-01-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

I am slowly transitioning back into a raw vegan lifestyle and today’s Happiness Exercise was about compulsive eating. I tend to do that when I am bored… or when I don’t recognize that I am thirsty, not hungry.

I also tend to obsess over small things or develop tunnel vision to the point where I can only focus on one activity where nothing else exists in my world (doing beadwork really puts me in this state of mind). It gets a little extreme sometimes.

Problems arise when I get so engrossed, I don’t listen to my body and I work at something until I am in physical pain, so I am training myself to do only “this much”. Sometimes, I have to actually set a time and only do something for 15 minutes before I move onto the next task. Marla Watson Cilley ( www.flylady.net ) taught me that little trick and it works great!

So, when I start wandering around my little kitchen like a lost soul, I give my hands something to do besides shove food in my mouth. Even washing dishes is better than random mindless consumption!

List of Pleasures

2011-01-26T19:19:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, I had a book called “10,000 Things to Be Happy About”. It focused on those small things in life that give us great pleasure, even if we take them for granted at the moment. My personal favorite was “the position of your head as you bite into a taco”. I giggled for hours over this simple little thing. I admit, I am grinning like the Cheshire Cat just thinking about it now.

Some of today’s pleasures:

Peeling a grapefruit first thing in the morning.
Telling a client how pleasant they are to talk to.
That special smell in the air hinting that Spring really does want to happen in the near future.
Finishing a crocheted washcloth made with 100% cotton.
Looking forward to Mint-Rosemary shampoo in the morning.
My beloved made the bed AND turned on the electric blanket.
My 16 year old son blessed me with a genuine smile that began in his eyes and went straight to my heart.
Ecstatic greetings of puppies.
The auto mechanic was open late.
The headlight bulb did NOT need to be replaced!
New York State has a Fruit and Vegetable Expo! ( http://www.nysaes.cornell.edu/hort/expo/ )
One nostril is snot-free!
The gas tank is still half full.
Peeling another grapefruit for dessert.

I make a commitment to be happy, to make happiness a priority in my life.

2011-01-26T19:17:00.000-08:00

Happiness takes me one step closer to the ecstatic state of joy. I believe that truly unconditional joy that is found in the simplest acts of existence is where true enlightenment lies. I can say by rote that each breath is a beautiful thing, and on days when I am challenged by asthmatic difficulties, this is more true than not. I have to admit that some days (okay, a lot of days) I am doing the “fake it until you make it” thing. This is especially true today as I work through personal healing to overcome a head cold that is threatening to settle in my chest (I will NOT succumb!) So I ask myself today, where IS the joy in this challenge I am presented with… this pursuit of love, like and air?

One of the things I find is I am forced to slow down, to notice the smaller things in my life. I tend to count my steps and synchronize my breathing with the rhythm of my gait. I find great comfort in this and recently learned that this is a powerful yogic practice that strengthens the lungs. And there is a little piece of the joy! My body instinctively knew how to take care of itself and my heart and mind let go and followed it’s lead.

I also become hyper-aware of and hyper-sensitive to scents around me. This can be frustrating until I focus on my breath and choose to breath correctly and calmly. In through my nose… two… three… four… out through my mouth… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten… eleven… twelve. Slowly, I reach a place of acceptance that this scent can exist in the same space as I do and we reach a peaceful agreement to do so.

These are such small things… exquisite in their simplicity and yet incredibly profound for me as each brings me just that much closer to joy.

Women, Food and God

2010-04-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

The Raw Divas (http://www.rawdivas.com/ ) sent me a video of a reading from this book, done by the author, Geneen Roth. As I listened, I felt it at a very deep heart level that coincides with some challenges I am having in a Wicca IV class I am taking.

I will not spoil it for you... just watch!

http://www.geneenroth.com/

Reflections

2009-11-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Vacation is over and I am glad to be home. I also miss the ocean lulling me to sleep, the salty air, and the comradarie of happy people collected in one place to relax, rejuvinate and reflect.

I went on a working vacation of sorts... I went to the beach to listen to teachers I respect highly. We talked about the science behind spirituality, being the catalyst of social transformation through intentional community and spiritual practices, and dreaming to the drum to meet our Spirit Lover, a water elemental or fae to help us with our healing work. The whole process was incredibly healing for me on a deeply heartfelt level.

My new friend, Nybor, talked to us about how science and spirituality CAN be bed-fellows. It's complicated on some levels and incredibly simple on others. I am still processing the information on this, and will post more on it later. Nybor says it's still a work in progress and I look forward to many more discussions with him on this and other topics. Nybor also creates incredibly beautiful artwork that can be found at http://www.nyborart.com/ .

Grandmother Elspeth, a sweet, sweet soul, shared her experiences and outlook on life, living in community and saving humanity from itself. She shares that is absolutely IS about the little things you do and do not do. Those things add up! She shared an extensive list of resources to investigate that I will share later as well. You can find out more about Grandmother Elspeth at http://www.grandmotherelspeth.com/ .

The most insightful part of the week, was taught by Bekki and Crow of The Church of Earth Healing. They are shamanic practioners who bring incredible grace and insight to their teaching. Not only did I learn how deeply the heart can be wounded, but that the healing doesn't need to be done alone. Willingness alone is the catalyst Spirit needs to do the work by grace. Sometimes, it pays to be vulnerable and find your strength in that fragility. Bekki and Crow offer many educational classes and healing services. Find out more at http://www.church-of-earth-healing.org/ .

Bekki and Crow also helped me find new insight on my health. We talked about diet, living intentionally with careful thought and learning to heal myself through basic small steps. It's process and here again, even the smallest changes make huge differences over time. We talked about how diet is not a one size fits all formula. We are all different with different nutritional needs and not all the same foods will provide that for everyone.

So, I bought a book on the Geno-type diet and am implementing pieces a bit at a time. Add two healthful foods, let go of two not-so-healthful foods. Add a positive life habit, let go of a not-so-positive life habit. Move a little more... sit a little less. It's working. One week in and I have come down ten pounds. You can find out about your Geno-type Diet at http://www.dadamo.com/ .

The best part of the whole week was learning how to relax and not worry about stuff so much. I wasn't home to take care of the mothering stuff and everyone survived, all the better in the end.

VACATION!

2009-10-21T18:13:00.000-07:00

I am "officially" on vacation. Big sigh of relief. I have never really been on an extended vacation that lasted more than a long weekend, so I am really looking forward to this. To be honest, so is my husband and son, who are staying behind. I have more than a little stressed and we can all use a break.

So, I will try to post every day or so about the neat stuff I see (we are planning a little shopping and a dolphin sighting boat ride) and keep you up to date on my progress. Yes, pursuing good health IS possible while on vacation!

Scales

2009-10-17T10:53:00.000-07:00

Deep breaths... try not to hyperventilate...

Yes, the scale terrifies me. I know in my head that the actual number I see on the scale is not important and yet, decades of societal conformity has me living in fear of this little gizmo.

The fact is, I don't WANT to know what my weight is. I spent the summer between high-school and college obsessing over it, starving myself and yes, even purging, all in pursuit of the "perfect" number.

So, today I step on the scale just as a point of reference. I am not setting a goal weight. I am not going to obsess over that rather large number. I am not going to listen to the "holy crap, Darcy! What happened?" It's a number... a measurement... that is all.

It is NOT the sum of who I am.

The beginning...

2009-10-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

Fat is disgusting.

Let me clarify that statement...

The amount of fat that has accumulated on my body by my refusal to live a healthful life is disgusting. It is toxic. It robs me of breath. It binds me to the earth with a heaviness that grows more painful each passing day. I cannot run. I cannot walk one block without excruciating pain. I cannot climb a single flight of stairs. I can barely tie my shoes.

It is, quite literally, killing me. Suffocating my body to the point where each breath is a struggle. It constricts me, my blood vessels screaming for relief. It crushes my muscles, ligaments and bones such that I can barely move.

I want to change that.

And so my journey begins...